As if you don’t know already, I get to call this busty babe my sister. I like her plenty most days, but today I have to like her more than usual. Why, you ask? Roban is celebrating a pretty impressive milestone this year. No, it’s not her thirtieth birthday (she wishes). Try FORTY. I know, I know. I’m kidding, right? Look at that flawless skin! Those youthful eyes! And those perky… ahem… cheekbones!
I’m going to make this post short and sweet and just take a quick trip down memory lane.
Once upon a time a squishy baby wearing a toupee was born. I like to call these days “B.S.” or “Before Sydney.” Those were dark days for Roban. Quickly, let’s move on.
Somehow Roban was fair skinned with auburn hair. Probably a milk man baby. She doesn’t like to talk about it.
This is my favorite picture of Roban’s childhood because the horse is so done with her shit.
Roban’s life didn’t really begin until the late 80’s when I was born. Our hair-dos remain flawless to this day, if you were wondering.
This is how we like to describe our relationship in those early days.
Wait, is this Saved by the Bell? No, just a picture of my EXTREMELY 90’s sister and our cousin, Jennie with some friends.
Roban’s first ride. Check out that antennae and tennis ball. This girl has always been so chic.
I’ll never forget Roban’s prom night. I was only seven or eight and I thought she looked like a movie star. Very Julia Roberts at the opera, no?
In college, Roban was really into studying and reading poetry.
The stud in the Hawaiian shirt eventually became my sister’s prince charming. I mean, how could she resist?
You know you’re cool when you get married in the penthouse of the Bellagio in Vegas.
Then along came Chicklet #1. Roban took to motherhood like she had just spent the last twenty-eight years helping to raise her little sister or something.
About three years later, Chicklet #2 popped out.
She sure knows how to grow ’em.
No matter how hard she tries to have the perfect-looking family, I’ll always be there to keep her grounded.
This chick has been my inspiration since before I even knew what an inspiration was. When I was little, she was the perfect role model and always did her best to steer me in the right direction. Sometimes she made me furious because of how strict she was. Our dad used to call her “the sister from hell.” Even so, I remember crying for three days straight when our mom and I moved three states away to Texas while she was in college here in Florida.
When I was a teenager, she was the cool sister. She gave me the birth control talk and even let me drink wine at her house on occasion. I felt like I could tell her any of my teenybopper secrets. I wouldn’t take that back even now that I know she ran and told our mom most of those secrets. Ass.
Now that we’re both adults (sort of), Roban is, without a doubt, my best friend. You would never know that we’re twelve years apart because we act like we’ve been chumming it up since childhood.
Not everyone gets to have their bestie in their life since the day they were born.
I can’t believe you’ve been gracing our presence for forty whole years, Ra Ra. Just remember that the best is yet to come! If you’re still able to remember things. Get it? Because you’re old.
Don’t worry, you’ll always have your baby sister to keep you young. I love you, sister from hell. Happy birthday, bye.